Monday, January 28, 2008


It snowed today in Xining, more than I've ever seen (check out the images at It wasn't that much, as so dry here, but enough to cover the ground! I cycled in it to have lunch at Casa Mia, and buy some DVD movies at 'Original Sound.'

My life, so amazing... Cycling in the snow in Xining, China buying the DVD movie, 'Gangs of New York!'

I love snow anywhere, but especially in cities, as it covers the 'shit,' and slows everyone down!

Supposedly, China is having a 'brutal winter,' snowing even in Shanghai and Guangzhou (east and south China). I know it's colder than last winter, -17C. here in Xining. And I just had a Chinese friend 'Allison,' report from Yinchuan, the Provincial Capitol of Ningxia A.R. (several degrees higher in latitude from Xining). She said is was snowing and -25C. -25C equates to -8 degrees F.

But, the coldest I've ever been was in the U.S. I never got warm in eight years in Portland, Oregon. Once in Pittsburgh, Pa. circa, 1974, I walked through -40F. wind-chill factor. Then in 2001, traveling through Minneapolis, Minnesota, it was -11F.

Also, on that same January trip to Sweden, in Iceland... Of course, Iceland is supposed to be cold and it was! I walked several kilometers through Reykjavik early one morning, wearing everything I had I was still cold. Lucky I found a market open where I stopped to get warm. Funny coincidence about that trip... Walking to the youth hostel to spend the night, I passed the 'Friendship House,' where Boris Spasky and Bobby Fischer (just deceased) dueled. I had been there in 1972, for 'Wide World of Sports.' Later this is where Reagan met Gorbachev for the first time (there's a plaque on the side of the building). A little trivia for ya!

Life is so amazing sometimes!

I'll never forget the winter light in Reykjavik (later in Rannelanda, Sweden). The sun came up about 11A.M. and set about 2P.M. But, so muted as to be depressing. (see images at

I have a new name, thanks to Norbu ('Drake') my Tibetan colleague (aspiring filmmaker). It's 'Nima,' which in Tibetan means 'the sun! 'I think it's appropriate for me, as the sun is very important to me. I am a 'sun sign' in western astrology, Sagittarius. I sit in the sun every chance I get. I seek the warmth, the brightness.

Chinese people always avoid the sun, I seek it! And the stronger the better. I once nearly 'died' in Portland, Oregon, having to live there for 8 years, besides the cold I hardly ever saw the sun! I like the sun in Tibet!

So now some of my names: Fred, Alexander, 'Hutch,' 'Haqi,' 'Nima,' and 'Ahya!' My sister insists on calling me 'Fred.' 'Rucha' likes Alexander, my old friends 'Hutch,' and most people in China know me as 'Haqi.' 'Haqi' means 'happily different!' But, now I am 'the son!'

How did I survive Portland? There were other compensations: the great outdoors, good marijuana, girlfriends, and a consciousness that made me feel at home (I was introduced to food coops.). There were some very 'cool' restaurants too, the 'Wheel of Fortune,' restaurant in the N.W., the 'The Family Circle,' downtown. One wonders if they survived?

Now, here I am far from Portland, living in Xining, China! Living in China trying to launch a global talent development and media producer. I must be insane!

In the meantime, a Chinese woman (Li Xiaoxing) calls me everyday and tells me she, 'loves me!' So, life can't be all that bad if just one person loves you!

Griphan Doone in China listening to Enya. Ah, you've never heard that one!


Sunday, January 27, 2008


Our lives... How important are they? Well, to each individual pretty important. We strive to make ourselves happy and comfortable. But, for most the ultimate result is unhappiness! Why? We don't know what it is really, happiness? We think money will buy it. And when we're $ rich others will be attracted to us, only to discover it's not us they're interested in, but what we provide.

It's a sad state of affairs, this modern madness! We've lost our way, so distracted by the material, so alienated from our source we only exist in some kind of limbo.

Most people don't experience what's possible, living in the truest sense. They have no peace of mind, nor sense of purpose beyond acquiring and consuming. Tell me in the course of history, does this give us meaning? Why are we here? To shop at Walmart? To be a 'cog' in the 'giant machine' devouring the earth?

Beyond consuming, does your life have meaning? Is your life so important? Will you be missed when you're gone? Were you kind and generous with all you met? Or, were you an unconscious monster?

Do the birds talk to you? Do secrets in leaves and rocks reveal themselves to you? Or, are you only interested in your computer or mobile? Do you jump to answer it when it signals a call?

We are only on this earth (have a body) for a short time. You will eventually, as Shakespeare said, ' the clay, stuck in the wall, that keeps the rain at bay!'

Taoists say the only 'immortality,' is in metamorphosis. But, what about the spirit, energy that animates the body, never created, never destroyed? It 'returns' to it's source.

Was there a reason IT animated the body for a time? The great mystery, life!

But, human life is ego consciousness, and the only chance to know more. To try to evolve beyond the mundane. But, only one in one billion have a clue! The rest, like teeming vermin, devouring themselves!

Oh we must pray for a redeemer, a savior to come again, and save us from ourselves! That is the only hope!

In the meantime, let´s escape at the movies!

"It always rains at funerals,
At birth the sun shines,
Everyone in China dines,
While the bird sings,
Do we have wings
To fly,
Or, just to die!
What a day,
At the movies!

Violence to solve,
The small dissolve,
Get a gun,
And run!
Kill, that's the drill,
It's for 'reel,'
At the movies!"

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Monday, January 21, 2008



I wish I could remember it all, my crazy little life! So many things have happened to me on the road to fame and fortune. Except, I ended up with something much better!

It started long ago, as I'm old now, and hardly able to remember. They say you forget the pain and remember the pleasure! I remember both but sometimes, no doubt, I embellish the details.

I was an average kid, maybe more frightened than most. Fear/guilt has played a large role in my life, pain my greatest teacher. I was an odd mixture of fear and unconscious nerve. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing! But, I had one thing you need, one thing that's indispensable, IT!

Of course, in the beginning I didn't know that. I did what I was told, I tried to fit in! I tried to conform as society wanted me too, but 'I' failed! That thing that is 'YOU,' in some of us, it's so strong! Not that I was strong, IT was! IT is!

And what is that? What is that thing that wills you to be true to yourself? It's been given many names. But, I prefer not to name it.

I tried to 'sell out,' I tried to 'sell my soul to the devil,' but IT never let me! Thus, I 'failed,' and suffered! Imagine that? That's how fucked up modern life really is, that when unable to make a pact with the devil, you think you're a failure!

There's one thing about life, the secret... You have to be able to live with yourself--accepting all your faults! You have to ultimately love yourself. You have to be able to be completely and totally honest with yourself! You have to admit you're a fallible human being, sometimes the worst of the worst, not that hero in the movies you've always fantasized. You have to overcome the ego. You have to 'die on the cross to be reborn of the spirit!'

I remember one time in my basement office in Portland, Oregon, I spent hours 'coming clean!' I admitted all my wrongdoing, I stopped 'jerking myself off!' I repented! I sought salvation through repentance. I felt so much 'lighter,' afterwards. I've been 'floating' ever since.

Of course, our ego protects us! It makes excuses for us. It does anything to maintain itself, and some of what it does it good. Even when we can't forgive ourselves, we have to have some semblance of self-esteem. But, you have to be forever on guard against the ego, lest it turn you into an unconscious monster!

It's tricky business, maintaining this balance between good and evil, right and wrong, living for yourself and for others! It's tricky business being conscious! It's even trickier having consciousness!

What's the difference? To be conscious is to understand that you exist. Consciousness is a state of understanding the dual nature of existence. That you can't have 'one' without the other! Enantiodromia, Jung called it: opposites seeking each other. It's the Tao at work. We can't have peace without war. We can't have good without evil. We can't have day without night. You can't have God without man! Or, better said, we can't have God without ego consciousness!

There was the pact Lucifer made with God! 'If you want man to know you,' be bargained, 'he must know me also!' Man must know the worst to know the best!

I knew none of this in the beginning. I was unconscious like we all are in the beginning. Some stay that way. Others, plumb the depths!

I never wanted to 'plumb the depths,' but I was forced to! All I wanted in the beginning was to 'sell my soul to the devil' for fame and fortune! I tried! I tried very hard, but wasn't very good at it. Or, what really happened... IT didn't let me!

I had made a huge mistake! I told God (when I was but 14-years old), 'Take my life and use it!' How did I know S/He would?



Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday! 'I have a dream!' And that dream has come true for the most part. Certainly, in my family, in just one generation, progess: from being completely bigoted, to the next generation (mine) being completely benevolent! I'm sure 'MLK, Jr.'s sitting on a cloud somewhere, and feeling pretty good' about the fact a black man is running for president of the United States!

'We help realize your dreams!' our motto at

This past weekend we were involved with two parties. One a commercial affair for the Wangguozhang Bicycle Club. This, on Saturday, at the only five-star hotel in Xining, the Yin Long (Silver Dragon) Hotel. Then on Sunday Xu Tan and I went to Yao Guo Hui's wedding party. He and Han Lin were married in her Province (Shanxi) in December.

On Saturday, the 'WGZ' party, was our first big 'do,' as a company and thus some tension. We were to provide the A/V equipment and video tape for later use. I was proud of everyone's performance, as we stepped up a notch in terms of reputation. The big man from Qinghai TV was there (I learned later.) and saw us perform.

On the other hand it was the 'client' that seemed to be disorganized and had a host of problems. We saved the day by scurrying about buying this and that, adding to the crew, and generally being helpful. Wang Jing came and played the piano and violin, and Chen Qing Zhe came and helped to pass out our marketing package.

I'm proud of our little marketing 'package,' including our brochure and a DVD with four of our videos. We had produced 120 of these packages as this was the number of guests invited. But, I think only fifty to sixty guests came, and thus we have many left over. Now 'Alyssa' will be going to private companies and Governmental departments to introduce this by passing them out.

Note, many of you will be receiving this package via regular post. China Post in this case.

Alyssa, in her new outfit we bought for her, sang one song, as did Norbu (in his new jacket). In fact, I'd bought new clothes for those attending, as they needed. Unfortunately, there was something wrong with Alyssa's CD (playback accompaniment) and she wisely stopped and sang without. This young singer has quite a career in store for her, our first client. Norba had produced his CD with Drake, so all went well.

Afterwards, all the awards and gifts passed out, we were treated to a large buffet. I wisely ate but vegetables, rice, and some deserts. Plus, I don't 'do' alcohol anymore. So, when I walked back to #242, I was feeling pretty good.

All in all it was a successful evening for us, the first of many! it's gratifying for me, after two years of trying to see some progress! Finally! I'm like a proud 'papa!' watching his children perform!

This is the beginning of, - a long time coming!

Then the following day Xu Tan and I attended Yao Guo Hui and Han Lin'gs wedding party. They sent YGH's new VW for us. Amazing, riding in this new fancy automobile and realizing this is what young Chinese couples want (same as American couples). Thus, we were delivered in style to a hotel dining room (2nd floor). Here Xu Tan went to work setting up the equipment while I was ushered to the 'elder cyclists' table. But, they can speak no English.

I was feeling slightly uncomfortable with no one to talk to, so reading my mind, they moved a Chinese man (name?) next to me who's been to the U.S. and can speak a little English. And what a nice guy, there with his wife. He told me of his trip to the U.S., Salt Lake City, Utah, and Boston, Massachusetts!

The food came, but nothing special. I ate little, most just the vegetables. I drank black tea, until forced to toast with champagne.

On stage I gave a little speech about Yao Guo Hui, and wished them a happy life, concluding with, 'and may you always ride a bicycle!'

On the roof of his new VW is a sleek new racing bike, and a Thule compartment. WGZ is now selling Thule products (made in Sweden).

I 'captured' over 100 images of the party which are now online.

Afterwards, I walked to Casa Mia, and had chocolate cake and a cup of coffee (Chinese wedding parties don't always have a wedding cake). This while Cathy Song 'snoozed' on the couch (image also online).

Then I walked all the way back to 28 DaTong Jie (some three kilometers).

A good winter weekend!



I'm trying yet another word processing program called, 'Write Room!' to compose this...

'Scrivener,' didn't 'fit the bill at the moment as designed for creating large projects (books and screenplays) over time. But, in a 'reply' message the developer/owner (Keith), a nice helpful guy, included some links to simpler WP programs, of which one I'm trying now ('Write Room'). This ('Write Room' program) appears to be more like what I need... Something simple! WORD is all things to all people, and God knows how large a program with its 8 million fonts! Plus, 'Write Room' only costs $25U.S., our organization is right on the brink of 'coming out!' Finally, after oh so many (10) months of trying, we have a chance to present ourself to 120 'movers and shakers' in Xining. Thanks to our friend Yao Guo Hei (Wangguozhang Bicycle Club) we have been invited to participate in their party this coming Saturday. We get to insert our package of information in theirs. Thus, we've produced a package including our brochure, photocopies of print articles, and DVDs including our 'company' video, a Qinghai TV news story (about Haqi), and our 'Cycling in Qinghai' video. Additionally, we'll get to show these videos during the party. And our two singing clients, 'Alyssa' and Norba will be performing. This is what I've been waiting for, some marketing opportunity that will put us 'on the map!' I believe we'll get some paying projects after the party. Finally!

But, I've been very careful with a written plan, buying clothes for all, and emphasizing that we must appear very 'professional!' We'll be performing (working) in front of potential clients as this dinner party in a restaurant (no stage, no curtain to hide behind). We're going to be 'out front,' and visible. Even better this restaurant is in the number one hotel in Xining, the only five-star, 'Xin Long' ('Silver Dragon). I grabbed their room-rate card, and the least expensive room in the hotel costs 1,500RMB / $175U.S. These are 'western' rates. And the 'Presidential Suite,' goes for 18,000RMB / $2,000U.S. per. I can live an entire year in China for the cost of spending one night in Xin Long's 'Presidential Suite.' But, there are rich Chinese people, most of which work for the Government (at least in Xining), that might want to pay for this suite. Certainly, if Hu Jintao (president of China), comes to Xining this is where he would stay!

Yesterday (Friday) we went for a meeting at the WGZ Bicycle Club. Norba came, but Alyssa was 'out of town.' Yao Guo Hui had a written schedule down to the minute, explained (including a raffle for Shimano bicycle) and played their video on his Compaq portable. Right in the mind of our meeting they had theirs (with the big man). It's good for the boys to see how the 'big time' prepares. I've been talking about this for a long time!

Best we get to take more people to this 'party,' as they've seen the likes of ('the big time'). At the meeting YGH requested a 'piano player' and it's like he had read our minds, as Wang Jing came to mind instantly. I wanted to invite him anyway. Now, he gets to play the piano and violin to an audience that will appreciate his skill. We also invited Qing Xing Zhi, our erstwhile marketing woman who helps with visas (as has some 'guangxi!' 'Guangxi' is the Chinese terms for 'clout!').

Yesterday I took them all to lunch at our Sichuan Restaurant. With Michael and his girlfriend (Li Wei Ying, or 'Lisa') there were 13 people around a circular table (with typical 'lazy Susan'). It cost 115RMB / $20U.S. That's roughly $1.15 per person for a wonderful lunch (eight different dishes). Xining may have it's downside, but there's the 'upside' too!

In the morning Drake and I had gone to the computer mart to check on the progress of the DVD compilation/duplication. 120 DVDS (edited and duplicated) are going to cost 920RMB, or $100 U.S. Again, you can't beat these prices for the service/product you get.

It appears we're prepared! Today (composing this at 0200 as can't sleep) we pick up our DVD that includes our four videos:, Qinghai TV interview (with Haqi), 'Cycling in Qinghai,' and Xu Tan's Qinghai Radio interview. Drake has done a good job putting this all together, our Tibetan video maker.

I'll be sending this marketing package out to some of you soon!


Sunday, January 13, 2008


Winter light!

Winter light,
Not so bright
Nor very strong,
A special song
That sings the cold
Making me bold,
In Winter!

Pre spring,
That quality,
Coming towards the nox
I climb the rocks,
I crank the hill
Home early!

People sit low angled
The sun,
Happy to see
And just to be out,
In Winter.

Where would we be
Without the sun,
Always on the run,
Winter again
The light
Always right
When we need it!

Winter light!


Saturday, January 12, 2008


She came this morning, unannounced. This annoyed me, but this woman loves me! What to do? Chinese people just go, just show up, they don’t call ahead and they don’t make appointments, all antithetical to us westerners. I was unhappy but I didn’t show it, nor did I show great joy that she had come. But, if someone loves you, it’s hard not to love back (especially if genuine)!
Her name is Li Xiaoxing, a 50-something Chinese woman we met along with ‘model Wang.’ He said she was his ‘sister,’ but then again they have different family names, so not really related.
After being here several times (in the past month) she wrote me a note professing undying admiration, and wanting to be my wife! I’ve never had this happen to me, so I didn’t know what to do exactly. After thinking about it, I wrote her a note I had translated into Chinese telling her I couldn’t marry, as I’m a a celibate Taoist monk, which I am! I don’t know if she understood, as she started calling every morning to tell me she loves me. Of course, I tell her I love her too (and I do in a non sexual way). But, how to get her to understand?
She showed me her little book full of English words and phrases, the kind of thing we do when learning another language. I immediately thought of photocopying it, as part of our producing ‘Write and Show (don’t speak) Chinese,’ a book to sell in Beijing during the Olympic Games.
Since I was online at the time, I showed her some WEB sites, but all in English. I played a video about the violence Kenya (, and then took her to our map of the world explaining ‘Africa,’ and ‘Kenya.’
(Note: I’m using a new word processing program to compose this blog entry called ‘Scrivener,’ something I discovered ‘by accident’ reading the ‘NYTimes.’ You can try it out for 30-days, which I’m doing. It’s the ‘brainchild’ of a man in London, England named ‘Keith.’ It’s biggest drawback, however, it doesn’t import WORD documents.)
I tried to be kind and attentive, attempting to communicate, although she speaks little English. We examined our plants, we noted the weather, I explained this was our ‘day off,’ and no one was coming. I gave her a package of laundry soap, she gave me an envelope with my full name (‘Frederick Alexander Hutchison’) on it. Finally, she showed me some English in her little book (this is the way to communicate while in China) that read, ‘I will see you tomorrow!’ and I bid her to ‘Take care!’ in Chinese or ‘man zhou’ (保重!).
Later I examined the contents of the envelope she had given me. Inside was a handwritten letter in Chinese. But, I did recognize the figure of 1,000RMB (in . I think the letter is her response to my suggestion, that she become my personal assistant (rather than wife), and this for a monthly salary. An opportunity for us both. But, I’m afraid we can’t pay 1,000RMB. Of course, people always have an inflated value of their worth. I don’t even know if this professed love is genuine. But, trust me, I will find out. In the meantime, I’m flattered!
Yesterday, Saturday, we had our ‘Haaqi’s English Club,’ at the flat (where XTR, Nina, Drake, and the two Tibetan boys are living). This is about 3 kilometers west of here where I live and we have our office. This is a twenty minute ride on my bicycle. On the way up to the fourth floor (#241) I ran into the landlord, Mr. Wang. I was apprehensive about meeting him, as we have a problem. He doesn’t want anymore than four people living there (four bedrooms), but we’ve had up to eight. I thought it best to inform him about this but maybe a mistake. I thought he might appreciate our disclosure and allow. I even offered to pay more rent. But, he told Xu Tan he doesn’t want anymore than four. What to do?
‘Drake,’ and his two Tibetan proteges were living in one room without heat of bathroom (this in winter). Plus, we have others in need. Additionally, we have guests from time to time. Me being soft-hearted, always wanted to help, have allowed people to ‘crash’ there. Now, we may have to find another place and move yet again.
Life (business, etc.)… It’s nothing more than ‘problem solving!’


Thursday, January 10, 2008


Today is Xu Tan’s birthday! He’s 25-years old today ! That was 1965 for me (born in 1940)! I can’t remember what I did on my 25th birthday!

I’m on my way to a party at Xu Tan, Ujwal, ‘Drake’ and Nina’s flat on the west side of Xining. For me it will be a quick ‘Happy Birthday,’ a bit of cake and then I’m outta there! Parties at 68-years of age have lost their luster. I suppose if I make it to 75-years of age, I’ll have one, a party that is. But, that’s in another 7 years, and only God knows. In the meantime, life in the slow lane!

Every morning about 0800, a ‘fifty-ish’ Chinese woman named Li Xiaoqing calls me and tells me she loves me! She has proposed marriage! I was taken aback when I read her proposal, so heartfelt:

‘Your experience, your spirit, and your personality moved me greatly! I wish to live together with you forever, being your student and wife!’

Of course, she doesn’t really know me! I wrote her back and explained that I’m a ‘celibate Taoist monk,’ and can’t marry anyone. Plus, I’m too old for such nonsense. I offered her a paying job as my personal assistant. She said she would think about it!

So many changes in our lives recently…

Ujwal’s visa renewal failed so he’s departing for Kathmandu tomorrow night. I will miss him, as he’s someone that can understand a little bit of what I say (the others don’t). But, we are hoping he’ll be able to return after a month of so.

We got our first paying job! Wow! That’s something to celebrate as the first since registering the company last April—it’s taken nine months to get some kind of good paying job!

This project came through Norbu (‘Drake’), the client a Tibetan singer (named ‘Norba’) who wants us to produce 12 music videos. This job coming with a particular amount of money, something like 10,000 RMB or roughly $1,400 U.S. This equates to roughly $100U.S. per song/video and hardly enough. This would cost at least 10 - 100X more in the West, but here an entirely different story.

Most things cost less here in Xining; the cost of living much less. For example, yesterday I took the group to lunch, some 12 people, and the total exactly $14 U.S. That $1.15 per person, and there was much, including meat, enjoyed by all (not a small sleaze-bag place, of which there are so many).

Anyway, must upload, and start anew… Already it is 10.01.08


Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Lack of consciousness!

We live in an age of:
Lack of consciousness,
Lack of consciousness,
Lack of consciousness,
Lack of consciousness,
Money (as God)
Lack of consciousness,
Lack of consciousness,
Lack of consciousness,
Oh, woe be unto us!



‘So We Can Be!’
by F.A. Hutchison
(dedicated to Eric Kaldor, who reads my BLOG ‘religiously!’)

During the Christmas and Easter holidays, the ‘Jesus Story,’ is reiterated over and over and in many different contexts. But, what does it really mean; what is it all about?

Christmas, of course, is supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, and Easter , in remembrance of his death and resurrection (victory of ‘life’ over ‘death’).

But, to me, the ‘Jesus Story’ is misinterpreted by most Christians as taken literally, rather than figuratively. If taken figuratively, however, it has the power of salvation (in your life time)!

They say Christ died for our ‘sins!’ But, what are these? What is sin anyway? According the ‘Catholic Encyclopedia,’ sin is explained in such a convoluted way, we can barely understand: ‘Since sin is a moral evil, it is necessary in the first place to determine what is meant by evil, and in particular by moral evil. Mortal sin is defined by St. Augustine (Contra Faustum, XXII, xxvii) as "Dictum vel factum vel concupitum contra legem æternam", i.e. something said, done or desired contrary to the eternal law, or a thought, word, or deed contrary to the eternal law.’ Somewhat easier understood are the seven ‘deadly sins:’ Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth (maybe laziness?)!

Evangelical Christians would probably say ‘sin,’ is any violation of ‘The Ten Commandments:’ ‘Thou shall not steal, etc..’ They also interpret the original meaning of ‘sin,’ from the Christian Bible as: ‘missing the mark!’ ‘The mark,’ in this case is the standard of perfection established by God and evinced by Jesus.

Where and how did this idea of ‘sin’ begin? It all started with the ‘original sin,’ the ‘first sin:’ Adam and Eve, in ‘a Garden of Eden,’ eating ‘the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge.’ And here’s how contemporary Christians explain that first ‘sin:’

“’The sin of Adam injured the human race at least in the sense that it introduced death -- "Wherefore as by one man’s sin, so death passed upon all men .’ Second, there is an allusion in this verse to a passage in the Book of Wisdom. Wisdom 2:24: "But by the envy of the devil death came into the world". Cf. Genesis 2:17; 3:3, 19; and another parallel passage in St. Paul himself, 1 Corinthians 15:21: "For by a man came death and by a man the resurrection of the dead.”

“Original Sin is the ‘genetic defect ’ we all inherited from Adam and Eve. Through this ‘genetic defect’ we all inherited ‘death’ -- both physical and spiritual – and were separated from God . Through Jesus Christ (the story of), we all have the ability to conquer this ‘genetic defect’ – sin and death (Duality) – and be ‘reconnected to God eternally.’ ‘Paradise’ (unconsciousness) was the original state of Adam’s garden on God’s “very good” earth .

“The whole justification of Jesus' life and death is predicated on the existence of Adam and the forbidden fruit he and Eve ate. Without ‘original sin,’ who needs to be redeemed?” All of us do, but in a way (by story) that contemporary Christians totally misunderstand. That the ‘Jesus Story’ must be lived in a figurative way! The ‘Jesus Story,’ is not to be taken literally, but figuratively (as metaphor, as poetical). Therein lies the secret!

So, what was the ‘forbidden fruit,’ that Adam and Eve ‘ate’ from the ‘tree of knowledge?’ It wasn’t literally ‘fruit’ and a ‘tree,’ but words (from a myth: story in human terms) that symbolize something very important, and something that has been misinterpreted and misunderstood for centuries.

Adam and Eve in the ‘Garden of Eden,’ symbolized the ‘perfection’ of non-ego consciousness (animals have no ego consciousness). ‘Adam an Eve,’ prior to eating ‘the forbidden fruit,’ didn’t know that they existed, nor knew of ‘God.’ They lived, in fact, in what I call ‘Singularity.’ No Duality, no ‘other,’ no ‘I,’ and ‘you’ – in fact, no separation (from ‘God’)!

It is ‘I’ and ‘you,’ Duality, that ‘separates’ and causes all the trouble! With ego consciousness, symbolized by the ‘eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge,’ came ‘the other!’ With that: I/you (naming) man/woman, love/hate, good/evil, peace/war, life/death, heaven/hell, God/man, etc. We can’t have ‘the One,’ with ‘the Other!’ Thus, the ‘Original Sin,’ was birth of ‘I!’

But, this was necessary in the course of ‘evolution,’ and ‘God’s Plan.’ Without separation (‘I’ and ‘you’), how would man know of ‘God’ (‘It’)? Animals don’t, because they haven’t evolved to ego consciousness (knowing they exist).

Does this mean we ‘created,’ ‘God?’ No. It was just a part of ‘God’s, Plan’ wanting us to know of ‘Him’ (‘It ’ really, as the ‘Creator’ knows no sexual distinction!).

Why? The goal is ‘God consciousness!’ Perfection, Singularity, a ‘returning’ to an ‘enlightened Garden,’ the ‘true garden’ – overcoming the Ego ‘I!’

No ‘I,’ (in the Garden) was non-ego consciousness (not knowing) or ‘perfection! ’ With Duality, lack of consciousness (not knowing enough) becomes the only ‘sin! ’ Irony!

Thus, how is it possible to ‘perfect’ oneself in Duality (our existence)? One must ‘live’ the ‘Jesus Story’ metaphorically! It’s an example of ‘death over the ego I, and being reborn of the spirit!’ I’m afraid this includes some ‘bad news’ for Christians, as well as, some good news (the ‘gospel’).

But, first the good news… It’s possible! Redemption, salvation, is possible in this lifetime! The ‘bad news,’ you have to do this by yourself! You can’t do it just by going to Church every Sunday, praying, singing, worshiping and putting money into the collection plate! You have to seek salvation, by ‘dying on the cross and being reborn of the spirit’ (‘metaphorically’). Not ‘losing’ the body literally, but losing’ (overcoming) the ego ‘I’! This to be reborn of the spirit (consciousness)—ultimately ‘God consciousness!’ Once you overcome the ego ‘I,’ the ‘I’ becomes ‘we!’ And with such comes love , the unconditional kind: sacrificing for others!

Now, how to accomplish this in one lifetime? It’s not easy, I agree! We can only attempt to perfect ourselves. I’m still trying at the age of sixty-eight! But, it’s in the ‘trying’ that we are redeemed!

Suffering and pain are the greatest teachers of all! Jesus (the people who wrote the Story) knew this… That it’s not possible to be ‘reborn of the spirit’ (‘resurrection’—victory of ‘life over death’) in this lifetime without suffering (‘death on the Cross’). With such, however, comes learning, awareness (of the pain of others), and consciousness ! And with consciousness comes ‘rebirth’ (living more in the Spirit than the corporeal body)! This is ‘eternal life,’ as metaphor.

Christianity is what I call a ‘feel good,’ religion. Just worship and donate, and you will get to ‘heaven!’ That’s why it’s so popular! You don’t really have to do anything ‘painful,’ because ‘Jesus’ did it for you! Just worship ‘Him!’ Read the words of evangelical Christianity: “The good news is that once we recognize ourselves as sinners, we need only repent and embrace Jesus to be forgiven. Jesus can forgive us because he died and rose again three days later in victory over sin and death.”

Yes, Jesus did that (‘died and was reborn’) in the Story (myth), but for us to overcome ourselves (our greatest ‘enemy’). He ‘died and rose again,’ but only as an example of what is possible for us to accomplish in our lifetime. We must do more than ‘repent and embrace ‘him.’’ We must, ourselves, ‘die of the ego I,’ (‘body’) to be reborn of the ‘spirit’ (consciousness)—identifying with the spirit rather than the body. God consciousness!

This, so we can be!


One wonders about “God’s Plan?’ What is the goal? I don’t know! I can’t know, as I’m human (form) and ‘God’ is non-human (formless). ‘Eternal life? Immortality?’ Lao Tzu, the credited author of the ‘Tao Te Ching,’ says the only immortality is metamorphosis! But, all words are penultimate! Words only sustain Duality, they don’t answer the great questions! ‘In the beginning was the word!’ But, in the ‘end’ is the ‘non-word!’

I remember a BBC interview with one of my intellectual mentors, Dr. C.G. Jung. This interview, a televised program, something I saw in a theater in Portland, Oregon many years ago (early 1980’s). The three-hour TV program devoted itself to asking Jung many questions about his life and work. But, they saved the following question to the very last. The interviewer asked, ‘Dr. Jung do you believe in God?’ Jung, who was never very quick to answer, sucked on his Sherlock Homes pipe, and then said something that changed my life, ‘No, I don’t have to believe, I know!’